In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize