I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
