I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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