You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
