i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
