Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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