At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You don't make any sense
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