what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
