just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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