Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
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he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
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The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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