Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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