2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
