You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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