That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
