that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
