addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Text me some of your sweat
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
