he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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