Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
