How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
