Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
pray to the hookup gods
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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