but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
