is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
