The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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