I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
handjob tips. give me some.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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