After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
