I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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