bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize