They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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