also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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