making cat noises will not fix the situation.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
