Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
