Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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