I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
