btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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