Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?

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(502): View more from Kentucky

he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.

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(303): View more from Colorado

No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.

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(850): View more from Florida

I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.

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(512): View more from Texas

I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.

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(586): View more from Michigan

The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."

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(914): View more from New York

No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!

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