piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
