i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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