Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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