What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
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just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
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You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
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