and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
