what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize