I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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