It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
