Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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