my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
