just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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