ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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