Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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