Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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