How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
