Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
