WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he quoted the bible to break up with me
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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