Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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