I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
ttyl tear gas
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
