do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
