She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize