I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
