why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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